Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
