Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
