Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
