Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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