i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
