Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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