Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
