Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize