no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
