I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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