It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
