My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
