Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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