wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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