"it" just moved
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
