nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
