my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
