you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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