I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
