You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
