is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
