Me too!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
