girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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