i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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