does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
