they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
