can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
