His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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