dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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