I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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