Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize