Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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