if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
