Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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