I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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