but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
