..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
