just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
