if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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