I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
