Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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