I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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