I wish I could punch you in the face.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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