Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
