Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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