better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
