yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize