First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
