So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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