he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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