i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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