wanna go halves on a baby?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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