with your own penis?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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