Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't deserve a penis
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize