I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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