we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
