i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
