She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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