she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize