Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
